marriage – Page 2 – What Do Mormons Believe?

Question on eternal marriage

Q. What happens if someone vicariously performs a sealing for a deceased couple that doesn’t want to be sealed together?

gotta love math

First, to understand this situation, an understanding must be had of sealing and of work for the dead.

Briefly put, sealing is the term used for being married in the temple. It is an ordinance performed that binds a man and woman together not just til “death do they part”, but for time and all eternity. Read more about this subject here.

The word “vicariously” in the question refers to the fact that God has given man power to perform sacred ordinances for the dead who did not receive those ordinances while they were alive. Thus, as Paul alludes to in I Corinthians 15:29, we can be baptized for those who did not receive that opportunity during their time on Earth. Similarly, we can perform sealings for deceased couples. Read more about this subject here.

On to the question at hand. What if that couple who is sealed together didn’t want to be sealed together? Are they going to have to just put up with each other F-O-R-E-V-E-R? For instance, if King Henry VIII was vicariously sealed to his wife Anne Boleyn, would she just have to overlook the cruelty and death she suffered at his hand? No. Common sense and truth coincide nicely for us here. As lds.org, the official website of the church, explains:

Some people have misunderstood that when baptisms for the dead are performed, deceased persons are baptized into the Church against their will. This is not the case. Each individual has agency, or the right to choose. The validity of a baptism for the dead depends on the deceased person accepting it and choosing to accept and follow the Savior while residing in the spirit world. The names of deceased persons are not added to the membership records of the Church. (cited from this webpage, under heading entitled “Additional Information”)

But I say, to avoid any such confusing situations, how about we all just love our spouses and desire to be with them for eternity? In fact, if you, my article-reading friend, happen to be married I challenge you, right now, to think of one nice thing you can do for your spouse today. Now go and do and have a wonderful day.

Cohabitation

Q. Can a couple who’s not married but has a baby together live with each other without it going against the Mormon religion?

In the LDS Church, an unmarried couple is expected to live their lives according to the Law of Chastity. That is, no sexual relations until marriage. Cohabitation, even in abstinence, is discouraged for the inherent temptation and shaky foundation involved.

There are many ways to deal with this situation, and the most recommended is simply to get married. Where a child is already born, you should think not only about your own happiness, but also your partner’s and your baby’s. Doing what’s right for them will, in itself, bring you happiness. Ensuring your child’s future means being a good parent and staying together, even through hard times. From the Proclamation on the Family: “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”

Weddings don’t need to be elaborate, expensive affairs, either. Any Mormon bishop will gladly perform the ceremony for free, and will even let you use the local meetinghouse for the services, also free. The only cost is the marriage license you need to obtain from the state. If this sounds like a good idea, get in contact with some local Mormons (the missionaries will be able to introduce you to the right people).

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued this proclamation as “a declaration and reaffirmation of standards, doctrines, and practices relative to the family which the prophets, seers, and revelators of this church have repeatedly stated throughout its history.” It is meant not only as a guide to Church members, but as a warning voice to the world.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

family-photos-2009-013 All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Inter-Religious Dating

Q1. Is it OK for a Mormon and a Christian to date?
Q2. If a person is an atheist and dating a Mormon, will the Mormon faith accept the individual?

Interfaith dating is not prohibited but there is a slight caveat that goes with this. Generally, interfaith relationships are discouraged by many religious groups based on the inherent differences in such fundamental beliefs. That is, on top of personality differences, other differences in cultural and religious upbringing just add potential problems that must be dealt with. Something that is so basic to a person’s being, such as religious belief, can cause great problems down the road.

Dating can also be difficult when the standards between the two parties differ. Young Latter-day Saints are encouraged to date only those with similar standards and goals. That means those who keep the Word of Wisdom, the Law of Chastity, attend church and have a goal to be married in the temple. Since these are generally peculiar to Mormons, it can be hard for two young people to reconcile these differences. Pressure to change from one side to the other often occurs and, if left unchecked, will eventually destroy the relationship. Members of the LDS Church will do what is normal for him or her. No drinking, no smoking, keeping the Sabbath Day Holy, no pre-marital sexual relations, and others. A person who chooses to date someone who does not follow even one of these standards runs the risk of compromising his or her values, possibly creating a division in the relationship where the desires of both sides cannot be met.

While this division may or may not be crucial during dating, any division can be fatal to a relationship after a couple gets married. Since dating is a precursor to marriage, the question of inter-faith dating applies even more strongly to marriage. In my opinion, ideal marriages are built upon common trust and unity and a marriage that isn’t progressing towards those ideals is likely not progressing at all, which is a bad situation. A good, strong marriage is one where a man and a woman agree to put aside differences and work together. Religious differences can be difficult to put aside.

For the second question, the answer is yes. The “Mormon faith” accepts any individual (see 3 Nephi 18). That being said, don’t be surprised if you are encouraged to attend church and learn more about it. Mormons are Mormons because they enjoy what they believe and derive much happiness from it. And when any individual has something that makes them happy, they want to share it with others. I also encourage you to learn more about our faith if for no other reason than to understand what your significant other believes in.

An article was published in the church magazine, The New Era and answers the question from the point of view of the LDS member who asks if it is ok to date non-members.

Was He Married?

Q. Was He [Jesus] married?

Short answer: We don’t know.

Longish answer: Funny you should ask. Historically there has been some widespread speculation about that, particularly with respect to Mary Magdalene. Thanks in part to The DaVinci Code, the issue has become more a part of popular culture in recent years. It’s a fascinating debate, filled with all kinds of gnostic gospels and symbolism and things.

The LDS Church has no official statement about the subject (despite some speculation by early Church leaders in the affirmative). The Bible doesn’t say He was, the Book of Mormon doesn’t say He was, and neither does the book of Doctrine and Covenants. But—and I’m hoping I speak for the majority here—I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out He is, especially considering that we believe marriage and family to be a central and necessary aspect of full happiness in the eternities. So, (purely my own opinion) I personally think He probably is, but I don’t think anyone now living knows for sure.

Incidentally, one of my favorite things about believing in continuing revelation and modern day prophets is that I have a good deal of hope that questions like these will be answered in the future through a prophet. We don’t have to claim to know everything about everything now because the gospel is living and being clarified and added to all the time. It’s a luxury that’s somewhat unique to being LDS, and I like it.